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C# minor scale

i wish that i could be in peterborough right now, watching mel sing.
it's weird being in this house, cause i feel awkward just breaking out ina ny type of song, or even singing along with music.
i miss people who appreciate it as much as i do.
i miss singing with my bests.

i guess i'll just carry on

i would kill for some inspiration right now.
something to make me feel better.
this house is stifling, and not in a warm way.
but instead i just have cold feet and cold fingers and tired ears and a tired heart.
i want to come home. home with my Father, so i don't have to feel like this anymore.
no more hurt.
no more ignored.
no more overlooked.
no more silenced.
no more cold.
no more pain.
no more questioning.
just no more.
cause i'm really sick of it all.
but right now, that's all i have.

i miss sydney healey..
please come over to play sometime!!!

bibliothèque

so here i am just sitting in the library, waiting for class to come sooner so that i can get my midterm back.
i probably should be studying, since i stayed home this morning to do just that and ended up sleeping instead..but i guess my body needed it.
what my mind needs right now though is for someone to program it and for it to be 100% knowledgable in all things anthropology. safe to say i'm somewhat screwed, but as long as i pass i'm ok with that.
living is getting better, not easy. i've realized that there's always going to be problems of sorts, wherever you are.. even if it's with people that make you the happiest.
nothings going to be super perfect, or even close at all.
i was really not too happy earlier this week, with stuff going on in my life that sucked, but it's nice to know that mom's are always there to get you through..

i'm such a cheeseball.. and this post is stupid and pretty random. i'm kind just writing for the sake of writing, with nothing really important to say.. ugh.
i'm friggen lame.

more to come later.. hopefully something better, cause this is just dumb.





i have words that are longing to come out, but i just have to make sure that i'm ready to share them with the world.

beautiful

had to come back to crappy school from a very busy weekend..
had to come back and to a crappy assignment that really sucks..
had to spend the WHOLE day doing the assignment, cause it's takes to long..
finally finished though, and then found today pic from nasa..
brightened my day.
thank You.

i long for the words..
to tell you all how i feel.

oh septmber, how i abhor you

one month in and i'm dying.
school's not even that hard this year. acutally, even though i have more courses than either semesters last year, and i'm actally keeping up with most of my readings, this year isn't going to well so far.
i should have listened to my family when they said that moving in with 5 other girls wasn't a good idea. i can't stand it anymore. girls are gross. our kitchen smelled like something died in it yesterday, and there's always dirty dishes everywhere. now i don't want to just sit here and complain all the time (which unfortunately seems like it's all i do about this darn house..sorry) but i just don't understand how girls who i thought were pretty tidy, considering their need for a perfect looking room all the time, could possibly be so disgusting. i am so grateful for the room that i have though, because it's such a great escape. i may be making it seem like i'm antisocial or something, but i'm just not like the rest of them. i'm also grateful that michelle is in the house. she's the only one who makes the effort to come all the way up to my floor, and to include me in things. is it wrong if i start feeling bad becuase they've stopped asking me to do stuff with them? of course, it's things that i'll say no to, like going to this kegger tonight.. but still. it's like i'm the roommate that they don't really know. another person added to the group to lower the rent a little. i just wish that sometimes the other girls wouldn't forget about me. i may be quiet around them, becuase i don't like talking about what they're talking about, or i don't want to start some kind of debate, because we have majorly different beliefs, morals and values, but that doesn't mean that i should be ignored. supposedly we're only supposed to have 4 people living in our house, so right now we're two over the limit. if two have to leave, i wonder if it would be me. of course i know who i'd want to leave, to make this house a little more pleasant, but if it were me, what would i do? quit school for this year? go work somewhere at home? there's no way that anyone could find another reasonable place to live now, or especally in the middle of the semester. and commuting is out of the question.
eff word. this sucks. it all sucks.
at least i have michelle. and tuesdays are awesome with erin, cause we have no problem discussing how this school and everything around it could be so much better and everyone's retarded. (oh no.. we're not cynical..yet).
thank goodness josh is coming for the weekend. i need something to trust in.
i need to paint something.
eff.

oh for the love of shoes

now i'm a lover of all things footwear.. if you know me, you know i have a small addiction of buying shoes.. my most recent purchase, just last week, of paisley rubber boots....my friends are constantly telling me to quit, and my boyfirend has started rationing my purchases, putting some restraint on my debit card...
so if i can't buy them, i still look at them without feeling any guilt.
until recently, when i came across this ad for keds, complete with a mischa barton body shot (more about her and less about the shoes i might add)..
this is what the ad said.
(headline): COOL IS FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION.
(content): Go ahead and wear your heart on your sleeve. Say it, sing it, use a pen, a typewriter, paint a picture, make a movie. The world is your canvas; and look, it's an enormous canvas. Freedom of expression goes from the top of your head all the way to your choice of words, your choice of style, your choise of Keds. Coolness is what you do with it.
Express your right to coolness by going to www.keds.com/mischabarton now.

how disgusting is this. i buy shoes cause i love them, not to have them make me any cooler. shoes are not a defining feature about me, especially when i can be perfectly content sans shoes.
this ad had awesome stuff to say.. too bad it was only to sell something.

erg

i feel so lost in this place.

oh for the love of summer

whaooti!

i got into my drawing class!!
heck yes!



i'm stoked.


now if only my computer would get some stinking internet.
i want to post pictures.


erin gave me a polaroid.
because of it, picture taking has been too much fun.
now if only my life wasn't completely filled with work and work and more work.
no weekends, or any late nights for me.
gotta get out.



i'm missing my girls (and adam..haha)... but i'm so glad to be home.


started wednesday night soccer games. i hate soccer, but we have so much fun!
started reading isaiah with everyone. frig. such a cool book. makes you really think about how amazing and huge God really is. incomparable to anything else. so nuts.
going to start my third book this summer. i can't believe how quickly i'm getting through them.
going to start painting..joel and heathers wedding will come up sooner than i'll have time for. i can feel it already. so stoked to see what it's going to look like.
i think that i might make another blog.
sketchbook stuff. have all the pages already loaded into my computer.. but just need resizing and internet.


oh geez. i'm hating this post already... it's looking like one of those retarded teenybopper blogs... but it's just to help me organize my mind.


but still.. so stoked for drawing class.