le 21 janvier 2006

comeback kid and josh madryga are my heroes..
best saturday afternoon EVER.

Matthew 5:44

But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those that persecute you!

10 commandments

thou shalt have no other gods before me

thou shalt not have no graven images

thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain

remember the sabbath and keep it holy

honour thy father and mother


thou shalt not kill


thou shalt not commit adultery

thou shalt not steal


thou shalt not lie


thou shalt not covet

black rose district

black rose district was the name of the roughest part of ghetto life in the late 1920's. "From the womb to the tomb" was the prase coined at every baby's birth in the BRD. Once you were born there, your chances of pulling yourself up and out were slim to none.

we can survive things in our lives that hold us down.

whether you've already defeated your demons, or are currently fighting to overcome, take pride in the struggle until your last breath.


blackrosedistric.com -- buy to support

the only purpose of my staying here is to stay a little longer

how long are we supposed to be here? is life extended past a certain point because we are each supposed to do something really important or something? some life changing experience or event that we are supposed to take part in? are we supposed to each be a huge influence in the life of someone else? have i been a big enough influence on someone in this world? did i make a difference in that man's life that i and some friends took out for dinner? he was homeless and we bought him some dinner. did i impact his life enough for him to always remember me and my friends? or was it completely useless? did a filled stomach from some strange kids change the was this man now lives? and what kind of impact am i supposed to be making here now? that was a couple years ago, yet i still remember it, crystal clear actually. i don't feel like i'm making much of a difference here. i'm learning so much, but what for? i haven't decided on a major, or what i want to do with this education. am i just wasting my and my parents hard earned money. i worked my butt off to get here and i guess that i'm doing ok, but the motivation to do anything has worn off already.. one week into new classes and i just want to paint all day again. at home i never had the longing to paint all day.. so why is it that i only have that feeling when i'm spending ridiculous amounts to live on my own. maybe that's just it. i needed the independance to find myself. but i've only found that i just want to paint. ugh.. too bad that the only time i have for it (realistically) is supposed to be spent on the assignments for my painting class. portraits. awful. self portraits. even worse. everyone around me says that i did a fantastic job, but i hated it. and yes, mpst artists, especially young ones say that they hate their work, but i usually like my stuff. maybe my impact on other's lives should be put forth in my paintings...i guess we'll see.

i dream in black and white

i want a big house with a wrap around porch, and a balcony with a telescope. a room filled with windows and books and a comfy chair for two. maybe a chaise-lounge as well. a room, or more than one, for guests, and a room for creativity. complete with music, influential pieces and room for imaginations of all kinds. space for two or more to work comfortably. a room just for movies, big and spacey enough for everyone, but let's make it not too overwhelming for just me and you. a kitchen with a long table and bench, and room for everyone to cook. a barbeque. poolside deck and umbrella table. outside reading chair. are waterproof couches available? a ceiling full of stars and our favourite constellations. a never ending mural on the biggest blank canvas of a wall inside. can we, sometime, go horseback riding? i want a big house with a wrap around porch. and a balcony with room for my telescope. and you

screw hollywood:be your own hero!

at home, i'm pretty much the same as everyone that's around me. i don't stand out that much in our group, but our group as a whole tends to stand out in our little town. i always knew that we were a little weird, and out of the ordinary. but it was accepted there, and everyone knew that we were weird.but here at school, it's something completely different. i'm alone in my weirdness, and i stand out alone. there is no one like me at school, no one weird enough to stand out beside me. but i'm comfortable with that. i don't always have to be surrounded by other weird kids. i have become accepted, and almost praised at my school, by my friends because of my eccentric-ness. they don't understand it. i try to show them that they don't need to worry about what everyone else thinks of them, or if what they are doing is right and cool or not. i am so much happier not worrying about what everyone else thinks. i've begun living my life for me, and not them.friends at school who have seen the winking circle movie think that we are the craziest bunch of kids they have ever seen. and they're probably right. we are pretty crazy. we do crazy things for crazy reasons, and i don't even know if we completely understand why we would do it.who in their right mind would willingly cut up thousands of pop cans just to make some decorations? and collect hundreds of bags of leaves so they can jump of the roofs of buildings? who would dress up in their fanciest clothes to go to pizza hut? not 'normal' people. the thing that i love the most is the shock on people's faces when they learn that we do all this crazy stuff under the influence of fun, and fun alone. no drugs, no alcohol. society doesn't understand us. we are so far from norm, they don't know how to handle us. cops try to infiltrate when we're riding our bikes, or nailing paintings to a pole. we're not vandalizing our town. if anything, we're making it a more beautiful place to live. but they've never seen anything like this before. the adults and popos in our town have recieved no official training in these matters before, and don't know how to handle us. and i love it. we aren't doing anything wrong, yet how come we still get into trouble. even at the high school, the administration always have it in for us. what harm are we doing though? go and bust the kids smoking all over your property, and doing drugs in the bathrooms. all i want to do is eat my sandwich in a quiet hall while i'm doing my homework. and you make us clean the cafeteria because we're eating in the halls??. we would probably be the most respectful and helpful students you've ever met, but when we watch flyers go up about everything under the sun, but our flyers aren't allowed to go up becuase there's a tiny logo of a winking face on it, solely becuase you don't agree with whatever it is that we're doing. so we brought a couple cameras into the school. why aren't we allowed to film? what harm are we doing? what is it that you're trying to hide? all we want to do is make a movie for our friends to watch. sure the administration will end up being one of the bad guys in the movie.. but that's not our fault. you've represented yourself to be that way. everyone knows it.but arrest us. give us detention, we're not going to go to it anyways. we are more creative than that. we will be more successful in our failures that you'll ever be, because we've figured out hundreds of ways to make those failures our triumphs. nothing can get us down. take away our skate parks, we're just going to keep building new ones. take away our grilled cheese makers, we're just going to keep making them. don't want us jumping rope in the halls? open up the gym. don't want us making this town more beautiful? then we'll take our talents elsewhere.we're not going to stop.our uniqueness will continue to grow. and it's continuing now more than ever, because it has been spread out all over the province. country. continent. world.there is no end in sight.we are the eccentric kids from uxbridge. and we're growing up, and learning more, and faster, and we will change the world.